Pride has been a recent topic of conversation, and reading about it this week really hit home for me.
In his April 1989 General Conference address, President Ezra Taft Benson stated, “Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves… Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.”
I know someone who let his pride interfere with his marriage. He and his wife weren’t the best at communicating. He placed blame on his wife for his unhappiness in their marriage. His pride completely consumed him. Instead of humbling himself and figuring out ways to strengthen his marriage, he let his feelings of neglect fester inside. His “Woe is me” attitude somehow justified in his eyes a five-year affair. He thought that since he was doing everything else right that this affair was okay. His wife had no idea.
President Benson continues, “Pride adversely affects all our relationships—our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind. Our degree of pride determines how we treat our God and our brothers and sisters. Christ wants to lift us to where He is. Do we desire to do the same for others?”
After he had come clean, he admitted that it was all because of pride. He let his pride stand in the way of his covenant marriage, and his relationship with God. He had a sense of entitlement that led him to believe he wasn’t in the wrong. It took years of living a lie before he recognized that he was completely at fault. It was his own actions, not his wife’s, which led him down this dark path.
In “Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage”, Goddard states, “The natural man is inclined to love himself and fix others. God has asked us to do the opposite. We are to fix ourselves by repenting, and to love others.” It took several years, but this man finally realized what he was doing was terribly wrong. He took a long hard look at his life and recognized that he was putting all of his eggs in one basket: his own.
Thankfully his wife is a saint and is willing to work things out. He still has a lot of pride and definitely needs to work on it. However, their marriage is already improving.
When I was single, Elder David A. Bednar did a Q & A session for my stake. It was in open mic format, so people would come to the microphone to ask him questions and he would give his response. His answer to almost every question was to "turn outward". No matter if the person was having trouble with faith, questions about family life, etc. his answer was always to stop looking at yourself and to serve. This goes right along with this weeks lesson. There have been plenty of times in my marriage that I take the low road and let pride take over my feelings. I start to think solely of myself and my needs. Those are the times I need to pray for humility and serve my husband. That is my goal from now until forever. I don’t ever want my pride to get in the way of my marriage, or my relationship with Christ.
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